I don’t remember the name of any character Morgan Freeman ever played – he’s just Morgan Freeman in every movie. There are couch naps and bed naps. Bed naps are serious. I once dated a girl who liked celebrating Valentine’s Day a week late. That way, flowers aren’t overpriced and candy is half-off. In retrospect, [...]
“Have you ever seen a pretty girl driving a car and thought ‘if i hit her i can probably get her number’?” I’m sick of women wearing graphic tees. I feel like you have to be really sneaky when you read them cause if they catch you, you look like a creeper. I think it [...]
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on facebook people that I do know, but i deliberately choose not to be friends with? Wow, your kindle screen is viewable in direct sunlight? Well guess what, so is my book. Sucka. I’m working from home today [...]
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. Round pizza’s taste better than square ones. Square pizza slices are anti-climatic…Who hasn’t thought something like this at least once in their life…”YESSSSSSSSS, pizza for dinner…oh, square slices, I guess they’ll do.” Chicken wings cost more per pound than chicken breast. Chicken wings are half bone. Pure ridiculousness. [...]
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